Steps to Build Your Self-Confidence

Author: Curtis George Norton Jr.
July 17, 2019

Steps to Build Your Self-Confidence
One of the biggest stumbling blocks on the path to success for many people is a lack of confidence. Although procrastination might be the most visible and obvious symptom, the underlying cause is often a lack of belief in our own ability to succeed.
Fear of failure crushes motivation and keeps people from achieving their dreams. Excuses are made to self and others as to why projects or goals can’t be started or continued and unfortunately, that’s often why we procrastinate.
At a subconscious level, a person lacking in self-confidence believes it is safer to not attempt something than to attempt and fall short. This is very common and is one the major differences between those who seem to easily get ahead and those who battle on with little progress.
Don’t be one of those people that lets a fear of failure control them. If you do, you’ll never walk the road you want to travel.
It is possible to change your self-perception and make positive action and success a habit. Many, many people have done it and no-one regrets it. There is no downside.
Accept Change at a Mental Level
While there are many elements and approaches to improving your self-confidence, the process itself has two necessary stages. Firstly, you have to believe and accept at a mental level that you want the change.  This means using your rational mind to overcome the resistance your subconscious mind will place in front of your best efforts to progress.
Your subconscious mind seeks to keep you emotionally safe, but you must be prepared to feel challenged, even risky. There may not be any physical risk, but your subconscious can make you feel as though there is. Getting past these emotions is what “getting out of your comfort zone” is all about.
One of the best ways to overcome fear of failure is by reading about others who have already learned that any failure is a step closer to success.
The basketball legend, Michael Jordan, once said, “I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
Did Michael Jordon fail? If so, in whose eyes? His failures pathed the way to success! Have you ‘failed’ that many times? If so, success is that much closer.
Reprogram Your Subconscious Mind
Secondly, you must repeat, as often as possible, the behavior that you know will lead to the desired outcome. You don’t need to have big successes quickly, you need to reprogram yourself to perform repetitious winning behaviors. This is the “fake it till you make it” stage.
As you do these winning behaviors over and over, overcoming emotional resistance as you do, your subconscious will eventually accept your new normal. Instead of having to force yourself to carry out the behaviors, you will find them happening automatically. At this point you will experience more and more that “success breeds success”.
Increasing your self-confidence is something you can do by yourself, in small steps. Carry out small winning behaviors repetitively and they will become “you”. You can start building your self-confidence with the following behaviors.
Improve Your Self-Image
Building your self-confidence only takes a few minor tweaks to the way you sit, walk or stand. Changing your self-image (and your outer image) starts with pulling your shoulders back and standing tall. A confident person stands straight, whereas a person with no confidence hides in the shadows, slumped over and appearing defeated.
Make sure you use eye contact when talking to other people, even if it feels forced to do so. Don’t forget to smile.
When you speak, do it in a slow and clear manner. Speaking in a fast and almost incomprehensible manner is a sign of nervousness. It gives the person you are talking to the impression that you are in a hurry to end the conversation because you are not confident about talking to them.
These little changes in your mannerisms can definitely give you a look of confidence, and more importantly, a feeling of confidence. With practice, you will wonder why you ever lacked self-confidence in the first place.


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