Steps to Build Your Self-Confidence
Author: Curtis George Norton Jr.
July 17, 2019
Steps to Build Your Self-Confidence
One of the biggest stumbling blocks on
the path to success for many people is a lack of confidence. Although
procrastination might be the most visible and obvious symptom, the underlying
cause is often a lack of belief in our own ability to succeed.
Fear of failure crushes motivation and
keeps people from achieving their dreams. Excuses are made to self and others
as to why projects or goals can’t be started or continued and unfortunately,
that’s often why we procrastinate.
At a subconscious level, a person
lacking in self-confidence believes it is safer to not attempt something than
to attempt and fall short. This is very common and is one the major differences
between those who seem to easily get ahead and those who battle on with little
progress.
Don’t be one of those people that lets
a fear of failure control them. If you do, you’ll never walk the road you want
to travel.
It is possible to change your
self-perception and make positive action and success a habit. Many, many people
have done it and no-one regrets it. There is no downside.
Accept Change at a Mental Level
While there are many elements and
approaches to improving your self-confidence, the process itself has two
necessary stages. Firstly, you have to believe and accept at a mental level
that you want the change. This means
using your rational mind to overcome the resistance your subconscious mind will
place in front of your best efforts to progress.
Your subconscious mind seeks to keep you
emotionally safe, but you must be prepared to feel challenged, even risky.
There may not be any physical risk, but your subconscious can make you feel as
though there is. Getting past these emotions is what “getting out of your
comfort zone” is all about.
One of the best ways to overcome fear
of failure is by reading about others who have already learned that any failure
is a step closer to success.
The basketball legend, Michael Jordan,
once said, “I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300
games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed.
I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I
succeed.”
Did Michael Jordon fail? If so, in
whose eyes? His failures pathed the way to success! Have you ‘failed’ that many
times? If so, success is that much closer.
Reprogram Your Subconscious Mind
Secondly, you must repeat, as often as
possible, the behavior that you know will lead to the desired outcome. You
don’t need to have big successes quickly, you need to reprogram yourself to
perform repetitious winning behaviors. This is the “fake it till you make it”
stage.
As you do these winning behaviors over
and over, overcoming emotional resistance as you do, your subconscious will
eventually accept your new normal. Instead of having to force yourself to carry
out the behaviors, you will find them happening automatically. At this point
you will experience more and more that “success breeds success”.
Increasing your self-confidence is
something you can do by yourself, in small steps. Carry out small winning
behaviors repetitively and they will become “you”. You can start building your
self-confidence with the following behaviors.
Improve Your Self-Image
Building your self-confidence only
takes a few minor tweaks to the way you sit, walk or stand. Changing your
self-image (and your outer image) starts with pulling your shoulders back and
standing tall. A confident person stands straight, whereas a person with no
confidence hides in the shadows, slumped over and appearing defeated.
Make sure you use eye contact when
talking to other people, even if it feels forced to do so. Don’t forget to
smile.
When you speak, do it in a slow and
clear manner. Speaking in a fast and almost incomprehensible manner is a sign
of nervousness. It gives the person you are talking to the impression that you
are in a hurry to end the conversation because you are not confident about
talking to them.
These little changes in your
mannerisms can definitely give you a look of confidence, and more importantly,
a feeling of confidence. With practice, you will wonder why you ever lacked
self-confidence in the first place.
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